Apparently the Global War on Christmas™ has started early this year. In an Action Alert email dated October 12, the American Family Association fired up the Christmas Jihad Crusade season by declaring war against that notorious anti-Christ, Mrs Fields.
Here's the email:
I'll refrain from considering how exactly one might ban the religious expression of cookies or the precise moment that baked goods gain their inalienable right to express religious holidays. Is it at the moment flour and eggs meet or after completed cookies come out of the oven? These are serious issues best discussed in forums other than an a blog.
While I' not shocked by the yearly resurgence of holiday-related Christian victimology, I'm a little surprised it's started so early. Then again, retailers seem to release their seasonal garbage earlier every year. It's good to see that of all the pressing issues facing their nation, Christian activists can zero in on such a fundamental(ist) problem as a lack of explicitly Christmas-themed samplers from Mrs. Fields. Remember when some of the same decriers of marketplace agnosticism flailed and screamed so loudly when someone deemed their religion worthy of a one-off confectionary Christ. Christians are hard to please!
Celebrate Our Savior's Birth Or Else!
Christians won't be happy until every American cowers in fear of their Jesus. They'd be happiest, of course, we both feared and revered their god, but they'll take fear. Actually, fear is probably their first goal.
The strategy taken by Christian activists is brilliant. They've managed to cast themselves as persecuted victims within the United States. They rule this country. (When's the last time there wasn't a Christian in the White House? How about most of your elected positions?) Yet, they've convinced themselves that they're victims (1) when any level of government doesn't explicitly promote their faith and (2) when any private, commercial enterprise opts to have advertising that isn't explicitly Christian. For example, when the federal government issues money with "In God We Trust," the Pledge of the Allegiance includes "Under God," or when public schools teach Christian-style creationism, they don't see the government establishing religion contra the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. Rather, they see agitation to remove such religious devotions from secular government and education as attacks upon their religious freedom; which apparently includes a freedom to indoctrinate and force participation.
Sell Us Your Products!
The issue of corporations and advertising is interesting. Of course, if someone or some group does something you don't like you have every right to complain about it. You can even boycott them, as the AFA'ers are planning to do. What amazes me is the demand to be consumers, the willingness to engage to activism to demand the right to buy crappy products.
There's nothing a corporation could want more than for millions of screaming morons protesting for the right to buy their stuff. Here's the Christmas cookie message boiled down to its essence:
"Sell us a whole bunch of Christmas cookies, Mrs. Fields! You're offending and oppressing us by not supporting our God-given right to give you our money for Christma-themed cookies! We can't live without your cookies! Won't you please sell us something! We demand the right to buy, own and consume!"
What the hell is wrong with people?
The AFA's Christmas campaign (Project Merry Christmas) web page reads:
It's time Christians take a stand and proclaim to our communities that Christmas is not just a winter holiday focused on materialism, but a "holy day" when we celebrate the birth of our Savior (emphasis in original)
But, are these Christmas campaigns really about their savior? Notice the AFA claims "Christmas is not just a winter holiday focused on materialism" instead of "Christmas is not a winter holiday focused on materialism." The meaning there should be clear.
The barely hidden ideological core of the entire Christian response to the perceived Global War on Christmas™ is an unreserved commitment to Consumerism, as long as it is Christ-branded. It should be ironic that Christians would opt to decry the lack of over-the-top Christ-based Christmas advertising and agitate for their right to make the birth of their savior as materialistic as possible. In essence, they demand that Jesus be used as a marketing ploy. They're absolutely strong interested in a non-materialistic Christmas else they would urge people find ways to celebrate that don't involve and orgy of consumerist coveting. But, that would be un-American.
Turns out, Jesus does have a place for you...in line at the mall.
Suckers.
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